http://www.love-tactics.com/broken-hearted/healing-a-broken-heart.html Give yourself permission to wallow when healing a broken heart. en-us Wed, 05 May 2004 14:01:35 EDT Wed, 05 May 2004 14:01:35 EDT Weblog Editor 2.0 'But only love can break your heart/ Try to be sure right from the start/ Yes only love can break your heart/ What if your world should fall apart?' Neil Young pontificates on the broken heart and poses that pivotal question to us. Because it's true. On what other occasion does your world fall apart more gruesomely than when you are healing a broken heart? Right? Your friends can only take so much of the infinite supply of anecdotes you just have to supply them with. Your employers have been sympathetic, but you can't exactly use all your sick days under the guise of being broken hearted. There's no formal window of days you can take off every year because you are healing a broken heart. Riding the Storm Out You need to pull yourself together, for you own sake. Just envision yourself in your future, a future that is a lot less bleak than it is currently. It will happen. Only you can bring yourself there. For now, you need to continue to address how you are feeling, so that you can move on. This isn't something that is healthy to repress. You need to own your feelings. Make it through all your various obligations, knowing that you've set aside some down time to just luxuriate in your broken-hearted wallowing. This will make it easier for you to get through the days and nights where you need to be functioning at optimal levels. Prepare for your time to yourself. Get comfort foods. Cozy up your place and rent all your favorite movies. Say they're tearjerker movies, perhaps the ones that HE never wanted to watch with you. Well, then, how perfect that you are exercising your free will to watch what you like to watch. Take a bath. Wear your Grandma pajamas. And even if you're in your thirties, there is no shame in cuddling with your teddy bear -- during this difficult time. You may want to think about retiring him, though, when you're feeling a bit stronger. Yes, take liberties when you are healing a broken heart. Inappropriate behavior is perfectly acceptable, when you are alone or around family and loved ones that understand your situation. Another approach is to learn as much as you can about what you are going through when you are healing a broken heart. Read about it. Join the community. Many are brought a temporary sense of relief and hope when it's more of a shared experience. Thomas McKnight's Love Tactics is an excellent read -- both online and in print -- when you're trying to sort out your emotions and get a grip on things. Check it out. Do what it takes to nurture your wounded soul now so that you can prepare for the days to come when happiness returns. And it will. Wed, 05 May 2004 14:01:35 EDT